Surrender is laying down your weapons and waiting further instruction. – Military definition
When I’m struggling with God, my weapons are justification and rationalization, selfishness and self-centeredness, entitlement and expectation, bargaining and negotiating, judgment and critical thinking.
I don’t want to surrender my weapons. They are mine and I know how to use them.
What blows my mind is just how insidious these weapons actually are. I don’t even know I’m using them until they start to bang up against other people’s weapons. Then it’s ON! We are in a full on fight. Clashing my broadsword of judgement against your shield of rationalization. We are both miserable. God sadly shakes his head at us, wishing we would just lay down our weapons and wait for His instruction.
I use these weapons to fight not only other people but myself.
7:00 am, suffering from serious remorse “Today, I am not gonna ( insert compulsive behavior).”
4:30 pm, remorse gone, the weapon of rationalization steps up and BOOM, “It wasn’t that bad, I’ll just (insert a little bit of compulsive behavior).” See?? It’s crazy-making.
How exactly do we surrender? By recognizing and naming the weapons. When I notice that I’m picking up the weapons, I have to make a conscious decision to say, “Nope not today” and then pray and ask God for the next right thought.
Just for Today
Today, I will identify my favorite weapons and then recognize how I feel when I use them.
God, today when I pick up the broadsword of judgement or the shield of justification, help me realize that I need to surrender to you. Help me to redirect my thoughts towards you. Retrain my mind, and help me to trust that you have a better way for me.