Blame

Tom is 12 and in the 7th grade.  He got into some serious trouble recently. He says it was the other kid’s fault. Tom, himself, didn’t start it, the other kid was cheating. If the kid hadn’t been cheating then Tom wouldn’t have gotten so mad. If the other kid hadn’t said derogatory things about […]

Try

Morgan Freeman hosts a show called “The Story of God” where he goes around asking religious leaders, scholars and scientists about things like eternity, creation, Armageddon and the like. It’s fascinating and I highly recommend it. On one episode he is talking to a the Karmapa about mediation.  Freeman says, “Will you teach me about […]

Never Complain, Never Explain

In a last week’s post I shared with you about how shame magically dissipated with compassionate curiosity.  I was working with a new fellow who inadvertently triggered my shame by telling me that a choice I made was wrong.  (When in fact it was neither right or wrong. Just different from his.) That curiosity lead […]

Frustrations and Expectations

“I should have just paid for the damn Uber.” My friend had been planning her trip to the airport for a week.  NOTHING was going according to plan, it was like the whole Universe was saying, “Give it up! Let me drive!” Public transportation was 45 minutes delayed due to mechanical difficulties, and she missed […]

Shame

Recently my kid got into some trouble at school.  I was sure that everyone was talking about what a bad mother I was.  My shame started driving me.  “Let’s judge them before they can judge me, who the hell is responsible for this witch hunt? What happened to grace?  What about forgiveness?”  (Shame can be […]