My colleague said, “That’s why I didn’t want to do it that way, Because I didn’t want_______.” His reasons were valid but inconsequential. The thing had already been done, and neither one of us could undo it. And in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t that serious. In a few minutes, we would both see that the way that it was done was just fine. But when he explained why my choice was wrong, I could feel my shame creep up from my belly.
Just as quickly as the shame surfaced I started wondering where it came from. Why did this guy feel compelled to tell me why he would have done the thing differently than the way I did it. It’s not like we could go back in time and make a different choice. And what he was talking about fell solidly in the “who cares?” range.
When I shifted from the shame to curiosity, something rather interesting happened. I felt my shame dissipate, dematerialize in front of my very eyes. It was gone. Just like that.
So my friends, the lesson is two fold.
You ain’t got no control or power over anyone but ya own self.
Compassion really is a cure all.
Just For Today
When I feel that icky sticky shame come up, I’m going to flip the script and practice some curious compassion for my fellows. Why am I feeling this? Where did it come from? If it was directed at me, from someone else, I’m going to try and understand where that person is coming from.
Prayer
Thanks God, for loving my like you do. Raise my awareness of your power, help me see thinks through your eyes. Help me to be compassionate, tolerant and kind.
Heather Dellapi 