Spiritual Pride

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

About 4 years ago I  hit a wall in my relationship with my God. I felt like there was something between me and Him and I just couldn’t get past it.   My friend Dave helped me see that I was full of spiritual pride. I thought that I had God all figured out. That I understood exactly who He is and why he does what he does and how he works in my, and consequently, your life.

Needless to say, being human (i.e. NOT GOD), there is NO way that can actually be true. Another friend, Jen, suggested that I try practicing keeping an open mind. That while ‘my way’ may be the ‘best way’, that perhaps it wasn’t the only way.  So I did.  I started small, practicing being open minded in my work. Maybe the way the boss wanted me to do his project was not as efficient as my way but who cares?  He was paying me to do it, so I’ll do it his way.

This practice of open mindedness and the release of my know it all attitude brought me to a new understanding of humility.  I  started to experience the freedom with this practice.  Things didn’t get under my skin as often, I didn’t feel the need to criticize or judge the people around me (as much).  I experienced more peace of mind.  “Hey”, I thought, “There is something to this practice of open mindedness.”

Practicing open mindedness has helped me let go of trying to understand God at all.  Isaiah lets me know that when I am trying to figure out why this or that happens, I’m actually trying to figure out God.  For example, why does one friend get healed of cancer here on earth and another friend dies?  Both are good people. As a matter of fact the one who passed left behind two little boys. Why?  I don’t know. And that’s the truth. 

To try and figure it out, is spiritual pride. It’s me trying to figure out mysteries that I simply won’t understand in this lifetime.  This pride puts me above God, saying that I know better what God should do.  That  makes me feel (and behave) like a crazy lady.

Just for today

When I find myself trying to figure it all out, I will pause and practice being open minded. perhaps I’m not supposed to understand right now. Maybe it will make sense later.  Maybe it will never make sense.  When I hear myself saying this should or shouldn’t be.  Then I will pause and practice being open minded. Maybe this is exactly the way it’s supposed to be and I just don’t understand. Just because I don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

helix nebulaPrayer

When I feel like things are not running properly help me to remember that you are the expert at running the universe.  Grant me the ability to relax in your omniscience when don’t understand what I’m seeing and experiencing.  Like a kid who knows everything is gonna be alright now that Daddy is here, enable me to rest in the unknown.

2 thoughts on “Spiritual Pride

  1. Were you talking to me, here? That’s just what I needed to read. I must have big time spiritual pride to spend so much energy trying to UNDERSTAND god. I want to jump over to the side that just believes.

    Thanks for being you!

    >

    Like

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