On Patience and Trust

I read this morning that patience and trust go together. I’ve been practicing this trust thing for a while, and for the most part, I trust in God. My experience confirms that God is trustworthy. He has carried me through difficult seasons before. In my heart, however, I feel tired, like, “Damn, how much longer do we have to wait?”

Last night a wave of fatigue rolled over me. Our small group leader asked if we had prayer requests. Our prayer request is a song on repeat. Same same. I listlessly rattled off our next action plan to help The Boy. I’ve grown weary. My husband and I have invested time, tears, prayers, and finances to help The Boy.

Eventually, we come to the end of our plans and expectations; we run out of ideas to fix or control. We hit a wall. The wall represents the end of our self-reliance. Only then do we realize that the following action is to wait fearlessly.

I’ve grown weary of consulting, planning, thinking, and strategizing. I believe the weariness is a sign to rest and let God do the God-ding (as my friend Steve says). When we’ve done all we can, it’s time to surrender, trust, and wait.

Bloody hell, I don’t like to wait. Who does? We live in a microwave culture where you can get whatever you’d like within 24 hours. I can remember waiting to hear my favorite song on the radio and then hitting play and record at the same time on the boom box that my grandmother gave me for Christmas. Today, I can hit a little magnifying glass icon on my Spotify app and pull up any song that’s in my head. Why can’t I search for the solution to my current malaise? Because it doesn’t work that way.

Patience is a muscle like your quads. If my quads are weak, then my psoas is jacked, which leads to my low back being out of wack, which makes my intracostal muscles weird. You get the gist. Patience is linked to trust, perseverance, and resilience. All these things make up an emotionally and spiritually mature human being.

Just for today
I’m going to build my patience muscle, using my trust in God to help me. I will remember that while we wait, God is at work.

Help me, God to wait. Comfort me in the waiting. Strengthen me, give me peace.

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