Blame

Tom is 12 and in the 7th grade.  He got into some serious trouble recently. He says it was the other kid’s fault. Tom, himself, didn’t start it, the other kid was cheating. If the kid hadn’t been cheating then Tom wouldn’t have gotten so mad. If the other kid hadn’t said derogatory things about […]

Never Complain, Never Explain

In a last week’s post I shared with you about how shame magically dissipated with compassionate curiosity.  I was working with a new fellow who inadvertently triggered my shame by telling me that a choice I made was wrong.  (When in fact it was neither right or wrong. Just different from his.) That curiosity lead […]

Shame

Recently my kid got into some trouble at school.  I was sure that everyone was talking about what a bad mother I was.  My shame started driving me.  “Let’s judge them before they can judge me, who the hell is responsible for this witch hunt? What happened to grace?  What about forgiveness?”  (Shame can be […]

React or Respond

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.  In our response lies out growth and our freedom.” Victor Frankl My friend was pulling out of the driveway with her son in the car.  Her sweet husband was in the yard and noticed that the dog […]