Selfishness promotes self-pity, blame, victimization. It equally encourages arrogance, pride, jealousy.
When I find that I’m stuck suffering over my suffering, I will ask if I’m being selfish, or isolating or holding on.
Dr. Tim Elmore studies the differences in generations. He is a Gen X’er, and he has been studying Millennials and the next generation called Gen Z. He gave a talk recently where he spoke about the quality of resilience in each of these generations, how the Boomers had parents who lived through the Depression and […]
Last night I was talking to my husband about feeling emotions as they come up and not carrying them with you day to day. It got me to thinking about what the Apostle Paul said about not letting the sun set on your anger. A lot of times that verse is interpreted as not going […]
Trauma is personal. It can be anything. It doesn’t have to be as dramatic as others’. It’s how it affects YOU.
In a last week’s post I shared with you about how shame magically dissipated with compassionate curiosity. I was working with a new fellow who inadvertently triggered my shame by telling me that a choice I made was wrong. (When in fact it was neither right or wrong. Just different from his.) That curiosity lead […]
Recently my kid got into some trouble at school. I was sure that everyone was talking about what a bad mother I was. My shame started driving me. “Let’s judge them before they can judge me, who the hell is responsible for this witch hunt? What happened to grace? What about forgiveness?” (Shame can be […]
“My life’s a mess. I’m single and will never find anyone to love.” “I’m stuck in this dead end job and will never make any money.” “I’m swimming in debt and I will never be able to retire.” “My kid has ADD and doesn’t have any friends. How did I fail him?” “I can’t stop […]
We must avoid the deliberate manufacture of misery. – Anon. Nothing is more miserable than self pity. Can I get an amen? All you can think about is you and how miserable you are. And then you’re in this miserable bubble. And no one sets out to be in a miserable bubble. It’s not like […]